The Free, Full & Final Gift of Forgiveness

The holiday season is supposed to be joyous, yet for many it’s the hardest time of the year.

This year feels especially heavy. Evil seems more visible, pressures mount, and old wounds ache louder than ever. I’ve known far too many people who, when the weight became unbearable, chose to opt out completely.

In my years of both receiving and offering counseling, especially in faith based training and spiritual training settings, one theme rises above the rest during this season: guilt. And right behind it, a stubborn refusal to release anger and disappointment—toward others, and especially toward self.

Recently our pastor delivered a message on forgiveness that cut straight to the heart. He called it the three marks of true forgiveness—the “Three F’s”: it must be Freely given, Fully given, and Finally given.

Most of us understand (at least in theory) that forgiveness should be offered freely—no coercion, no ulterior motives, no expectation of repayment.

Many of us even believe we’ve forgiven fully—until the memory resurfaces and we realize there was a corner of our heart we kept locked.

But the third “F” is the one that stopped me cold: Finally.

“Finally” does not mean we forget what happened. It means the offense never again rises from our lips or our thoughts as a weapon or wound. No subtle reminders. No mental replays on sleepless nights. No bringing it back up when the next argument starts. It is finished.

That kind of forgiveness feels humanly impossible—and I believe it is, apart from a living connection to Jesus Christ.

Jesus forgave freely—He was not forced; He laid down His life willingly.

Think about the cross.

Jesus forgave freely—He was not forced; He laid down His life willingly. He forgave fully – He did not die for some sins and leave the rest for us to pay. And He forgave finally – when He cried out, “It is finished,” the debt was canceled forever.

The record of our failures was nailed to that cross and buried in an empty tomb. God Himself promises, “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12, 10:17).

There is literally nothing left for us to earn or repay. Grace is a Free, Full, and Final Gift.

This Christmas season, I’m challenging myself (and you) to sit longer with that truth. Let gratitude for what Christ has already done loosen our grip on guilt, bitterness, and the need to be right. Only when we receive His final forgiveness can we begin to offer it to others – and to ourselves.

From that place of overflowing gratitude, we move from justification (saved by grace through faith) into sanctification (learning, day by day, to live as people who have truly been set free). This is the heart of spiritual training and faith-based training—learning to become reflectors of the same relentless, scandalous love that was poured out for us.

May your Christmas be filled not with pressure or pretense, but with deep gratitude for the Gift that has already made you whole.

Blessed Christmas, Michael Durnin

For additional details, questions or to schedule a complimentary discussion on how you adopt forgiveness in your daily life and relationships both at home and at work to maximize your potential, please email coach@maximizeu.life

Thanks