Exchange of Value
In any exchange or transaction, somebody gives something, and somebody takes something and in order for the exchange to be mutually rewarding and consistently repetitive over a period of time rather than a one time transaction, you need to give more than you take. At the end of the day folks, both the receiver and the provider that are involved with the exchange, have to be better off after the exchange, than before the exchange began.
It is not a zero sum game. When you give more than you take, you put the other person front and center of the interaction. To be interesting, first be interested. This is relevant in your personal life, and in your work life. When you are involved in any conversation or discussion, it is so imperative for you to add more value to the other person, than the value you extract from the relationship. People will always remember how you made them feel, rather than what you say to them, or what you did to them. When you make the other person feel better, as a result of your interaction with them, you provide them with immense value that they never had before.
Steps to Deliver Value
In order to do that, there are a couple of criteria and requirements. One, you need to know your stuff, whatever it is, you need you need to be very knowledgeable. You need to have the expertise, and the ability.
Number two, you have to be a very effective communicator. Communication is the way you are transmitting your thoughts, your feelings, and your emotions, to the other person. You are painting a picture for them, you are telling them a story, and you are revealing a canvas for them. In order to do that effectively, you need to be able to communicate effectively. Some of the best leaders are excellent communicators because they can transfer their emotion and their passion to the other person. It’s for the receiver of the message to take action. So that’s the second part.
The third part is a genuine interest in the wellbeing of the other person. There are so many fakes and phonies out there, and people can smell a rat from a distance. But if you are truly genuine and if you’re truly concerned 100% about the other person, that comes across. It comes across in your integrity and in how genuine you are, that you invest in elevating their level of happiness. When you do that, people appreciate you. They open up to you-the walls break down, and you build bridges, not walls. So that’s communication.
The fourth and most important aspect is empathy. Are you empathetic to the way that person is feeling? You have walked in your own shoes for many years, but you have no idea of where the other person is coming from, what their situation is, or what their environment is. You have no idea of how they have got to this point. So before you start judging and making all kinds of assumptions, stop. Try to walk in their shoes. If you cannot walk in their shoes, at least sit on their side of the table. Try to gauge where they’re coming from. If you do that, you will be able to understand what is important to them and what is not. Then you will be able to customize your interaction to suit their needs, and their preferences, rather than yours. So that’s really important. At the end of the day, people want to work with, interact with, meet with, discuss with and hang out with people that make them feel better about themselves. People like to spend time with genuine people. Be yourself. That’s what it’s all about.
If you are a son or a daughter, spend the time with your parents, particularly when they are old. It brings them great joy. When you spend time with them, you sit with them, you laugh with them, you joke with them, share stories with them, and go over memories with them that you all had in the past, it brings them immense joy. That’s what it’s about- the joy and happiness on their faces. When they meet you after a long time, their reaction is priceless. It doesn’t matter how much money you give them, or the gifts you bring them. What matters is the time you invest with them. That is more applicable and relevant.
The older they get, the older you get. Put your pettiness aside, and put your self interest aside. Look at the bigger picture. You have to let go of the past. You have to look for forgiveness, as God forgave you. Spend quality time with the folks that you love because those relationships will not last forever. Those people will not last forever. So while they are there, make it count. You may not be there, they may not be there, and the situation may change. There is no second chance in situations like that. So seize the opportunity. Be flexible, be adaptable, and go for it. Invest the time and remember, give more than you take.
Impact of Delivering Value
When you do this, you will be have more positive mental wellness, physical wellbeing, emotional balance and will generally feel happier and more fulfilled. The quality of your relationships will improve and your impact should get better as well. This will in turn improve your personal life and make you more productive, engaged and optimized at work. For further details, or to schedule a complimentary 30 minute discussion on how you can deliver more value than you take in any interaction, email me at email@example.com