Good morning, everyone. It’s Sal Celly. Hope you all are doing great. It is Thursday, March 23, and it’s about 7:40am. Today I want to write about a very important topic, and that is conflict management and how to manage priorities.
Potential Causes of Conflict
We live in very turbulent times, and there are many competing demands on our time and our attention. The key is, how do you prioritize what you need to focus on first, where you need to devote time and effort and what you can push to the low priority list. When you have too many things that are competing for your attention, and are all category A items, that creates unnecessary tension and stress for you, which in turn can result in you being short, being impatient, being irritable, being stressed, being anxious, and that in turn can cause conflicts. Moreover, it can cause you to rub people the wrong way, both in your personal life and in your work life.
Your Role in the Conflict
Certain conflicts are based on the behavior of the other person, and that’s a different situation. But a lot of the conflicts that we find ourselves in, are caused due to certain behaviors or actions that we took, which in turn, are triggered by stress and other external triggers that we face in the environment or our specific situation. So the two issues are very closely linked together, balancing and figuring out prioritization can and does help in conflict management. So let’s address those two issues.
Task Prioritization-Important or Urgent?
When you talk about priorities, what I like to do is, first you must understand, is priority management important? Or is it an urgent priority and who is it important for? You need to be a little selfish in this respect-these are your priorities, and it should be important to you and not the other person. So if it is important to you, and it is going to have a significant impact on your life, your financial situation, your future and the future of your family, then it is an important task. And it should be a priority A task which deserves your prompt and focused attention.
If it is not going to have a significant impact, or if it is important to the other person and not to you, it should not belong to the Priority A list. If it can be done by somebody else and you can delegate it and monitor it without doing it yourself, then delegate it. So that’s how you prioritize and categorize A, B and C tasks. Some you do right away, others get pushed to the backburner and some that belong to Category C, you don’t do.
It’s OK to say No
It’s okay to say no to certain tasks so that you create space and the ability to say yes to the important ones. So that’s prioritization. Now, when you come to conflict management, let’s talk about that. The first step is, to recognize that you’re in a conflict-this could be at work, or it could be in your personal life. Understand that you are in a conflict. The first step is to recognize the conflict
Number two, in the heat of the conflict, it doesn’t help to blame or find fault with the other person. It doesn’t matter who caused the conflict- you are in it, accept it, take ownership, and take responsibility. The single focus you must have is to solve the conflict or to prevent it from escalating. Those are the two things. Either you solve it, which is not always possible, but at least prevent it from escalating. How do you do that? You sometimes have to walk away from the conflict and that’s okay. Walk away from the conflict if required. And get back to it at a later point when you can resolve it. Time is a big healer. So do that. After you have walked away and have come back to the situation, what do you do next? That is part two of the post.
Impact of Unresolved Conflicts & Poor Prioritization
When conflicts are not resolved quickly and tasks are not prioritized correctly, it is going to negatively impact our overall wellbeing-our mental health, physical wellbeing, our attitude, overall mood and our soci-emotional outlook, mindset and perspective. It affects our physiology and psychology and can have a significant impact which will compound over time, if it persists. The flip side is also true. If you sort the conflict promptly, and prioritize correctly, you will feel freedom and control and overall more positive, balanced and fulfilled.
For further information, or to schedule a complimentary 30 minute coaching sessionon on how to manage conflicting priorities, please email me at email@example.com and thanks.