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Influencing People and gaining a better mental state

Influencing People and gaining a better mental state

How to Really Influence People

In my 20’s I saw limited potential in me.

I had a smart mentor.
But, he didn’t teach me the things he knew.

What he did do was help me see things I couldn’t see in myself.

I saw myself as a participant.
> He helped me see I’m a leader.

I saw myself as incapable.
> He helped me see my potential.

I saw myself as weak.
> He helped me see I can grow.

I thought I lacked knowledge.
> He helped me see where knowledge is found.

In the process I learned to believe in myself.

How he did it?

He listened to me and reflected back what he heard.

Here is what I learned:

If you want to influence people
> don’t strive to show how capable you are
> strive to help them see their capability.

Gain a better mental state in under 1 minute

-Effective emotional management is helpful when we need to handle uncomfortable situations in a constructive manner. 

-The secret to being able to do this is to be proactive and prepared when a difficult situation arises. It is all about being proactive. Here is how to do this:

Identify your Trigger- as an example, when you receive constructive feedback, you feel inadequate and start to doubt yourself.

When not Triggered reflect on it- Ask yourself: What would I like to do, think, or feel when I’m triggered? It’s important to ask this question when you’re calm, as it lets you think clearly. When you’re triggered, clear thinking often becomes harder. This can make your decisions and reactions less rational.

Apply what you chose to do when not Triggered- Possible Response: “When I feel bad after receiving feedback, I will remind myself that feedback is the fastest way to grow and I have total control on what I choose to improve.” In most cases, choosing to think a constructive thought is enough to take you from a difficult mental state to a more helpful one.

Instead of being stuck in an unhelpful mental state, create a plan that would serve you better.

For additional details or questions on controlling your mental state better and effectively influencing people, which will enable you to lead a more balanced, happier and fulfilled life, email me at


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