Trying to be perfect is exhausting

There’s a familiar moment that seems to arrive every holiday season.

Maybe it’s standing in a crowded airport, watching the departure board flicker with delays.

Or lying awake at night mentally reviewing everything that still needs to be done.

Or sitting around the table with people you love… and noticing the quiet tension beneath the surface.

The expectations creep in quietly at first.

This should look a certain way.
Everyone should be happy.
I should be more patient.
I should be doing this better.

For so many of us, the holidays stir up a tender mix of joy and pressure—
Pressure fueled by perfectionism, old family dynamics, unspoken roles, and the deep (often unconscious) desire for everything to be just right.

And when things don’t go according to plan?
That inner critic can get loud—
Aimed at ourselves… or at the people around us.

This year, what if we tried something different?

What if, instead of repeating old patterns of judgment and self-criticism,
We chose loving kindness—for ourselves first, and then for others?

Here are three gentle keys to help you do just that:

Key #1: Pause Before You React

Loving kindness begins with a pause. Before responding…
Before correcting…
Before replaying the moment in your head…

Pause.
Take one conscious breath.

That small pause interrupts the nervous system’s habitual response and brings you back into the present moment—where choice lives.

You don’t have to be perfect.
You only need to be present.

Key #2: Soften the Inner Critic

Notice how quickly judgment arises—

I should be handling this better.
Why am I like this?
They always do this.

Instead of pushing those thoughts away, try meeting them with compassion. Silently say:
This is hard… and I’m doing the best I can right now.

Kindness doesn’t mean lowering standards—it means releasing unnecessary suffering. When we soften toward ourselves, it becomes far easier to soften toward others.

Key #3: Choose Intention Over Expectation

Expectations are rigid.
Intentions are spacious.

Rather than expecting the holiday to go a certain way, ask yourself:

How do I want to BE in this season?

More patient?
More grounded?
More open-hearted?

Let that intention guide you—especially when things don’t go as planned.

Loving kindness isn’t about getting it “right.”
It’s about staying connected—to yourself, to others, and to what truly matters.

If you’d like a little extra support as you move through this season, please know there are ways we can do this together. For additional details, questions or to schedule a complimentary discussion, please email me at coach@maximizeu.life

Live, Work & Lead with greater Freedom, Power & Peace of Mind.

Thanks